I Am Coming Into My Own

I have always felt like I was different. My mother has always shown me things early in my life to make me self sufficient and she made sure that I was always able to do with myself. At some point in my life I got sidetracked by my love for women. My love for women has caused me some time and some lessons that at in my 20s I couldn't appreciate it and it lead me to a careless and promiscuous lifestyle. I am so grateful to God for protecting me enough for me to love myself again.

Because I did take a crack at love at an early age it left me open to become hurt and when I got hurt I became angry. I was angry because I didn't understand how something that felt so good, so strong, so real could be tainted by one persons actions. I felt deceived and as a result I didn't care anymore and along the way some very good women got hurt because of my actions.

It kept taking a trip downhill I had a child with someone that I don't believe wanted to have a child with me in the first place. I had another child with someone that I basically had a 2 night stand with and never had a relationship with and then had a 3rd child with someone that I met on a journey of trying to get over a failed marriage. I wish my instances where storybook fairytale stories of love and hope and white picket fences, but because of decisions that I have made that was not my life and I accepted that a long time ago.

When I turned 30 I had to make some decisions as to where the rest of my life would go. I had just separated from my wife. I had to drive all the way from California back to New York in shame because I felt like I had failed God by failing my marriage. I had to make the most difficult choice in my life because you never want to abandon your spouse, but what do you do when you for see the future? The truth of the matter is that you can not see the future so you have to make a choice for you that was the first difficult choice I had to make.

When I came home to New York I was basically homeless and thanks to my brother Deyvon and his mother they took me in and gave me food and shelter and I had nothing but my car and clothes. I had to rely on faith to get me through that and it was very tough as a man who once had everything that had to come back and start from nothing all over again. I never thought that it would be me, but it was and I was so ashamed of myself.

Throughout these instances though I made some great decisions and I am proud as to where my life has taken me and so grateful that I made the choices to lead me to success. It's not easy looking at your ugliness and pointing at yourself and saying hey no matter what these people did to me? I have to change my ways and see how I could be a better person. I have been on a journey of personal development and really getting to know myself and understanding myself. I understand the things that I want in life, what I don't want in life and what I will not settle for. I had to love myself to be able to do that. I had to separate from all my temptations and things that I would have normally done to try to keep company to make a firm decision to not get into another relationship. I had to sometimes pull my impulses back to save friendships with people that mattered to me. I had to restructure my life.

I am now coming into my own. I own my life. I own my decisions. I own my rights. I own my wrongs. I own who I am and what I put into the world. I own my soul. I own my pride. I own my dignity. I own my individuality. I own my time. I own my way of life. I own my interactions. I own my choices. I own everything that is me and I own up to being the best that I can be for me and my energy will continue to seep into others because I own the right to live a life of complete positivity beyond measure. I appreciate life these days much more and I am addicted to making myself better for the world. It's a beautiful thing. I am coming into my own.

The TakeOff

I have been waiting for this moment a long time. Building my belief as I kept checking and rechecking and over checking and then checking over and over again. I have flown small planes before, but I have never flown a plane this big. Am I ready for this? Am I ready for this feat? Am I
ready to fly these friendly skies that God has open the gates for me?

When it rained I said not today. When it snowed I said tomorrow. When it was sunny I smiled and said I have to get the landing gear right and figure this measurement out. When it was warm I would work. When it was cold I would work. One day I had to stop working and sit back and look at my plane and say wow you built this just sit back and admire what you have built.

I have tested out the plane a few times and have experienced some turbulence at times, then other times the flights would be successful. I have done several simulations and they have been successful too. It is now time to fly.

I am leaving all of my worries behind and my fears are no longer. I have completed the phase of testing and now it is time to experience so I can live out the testimony. It's time to enjoy what I built and go in with my belief and seize the moment.....Carpe Diem! I am now in the captains chair.....all systems are a go I am ready for take off.

The plane is my life....and I am now in control. Hello possibilities and dreams......I waited forever for this moment. I am ready!

TESTIMONY

We go through life with all kinds of tests. When we were children the first thing they are required to do is make the children take a test to see where they can be placed in school. They decide early what kind of learning curve you will have. Some people will be place in accelerated classes, some people will be placed in remedial classes etc.

There is no avoiding the tests in life. We must go through tests all the way through life to inspire, learn, go through struggle, and be able to make mistakes. I don't know how anyone perceived that life should or would be easy when we have to work. The problem is people will work on everything else, but themselves.

Become your own testimony. Write your own chapters and let people read your story because you never know who you will inspire in the process. Sometimes it can be a word or a phrase that you said or something that you might have put into the universe that someone receives from the weirdest places and your story will become their testimony.....their source of belief. You have two choices in life you can either accept the tests and embrace them as they come or you can buckle in your knees and let fear weaken your knees and become a slave to the test. In order to have a testimony there has to be some form of completion so complete a task and show people that things can be done regardless of anyone's prior belief. The only belief that matters is your own!

The All Seeing Eye

The all seeing eye is always watching. We call them "big brother". All of these social networks were designed to do one thing to watch us. We are giving the government all access to our lives that's how things are in the future. We believe everything we see on tv then we go and spread it word of mouth and I say WE because I do it too we are called pundits some more popular than others on how information is transcended. All of these networks are connected hence facebook purchasing instagram and twitter being connected. We are now able to expose gruesome deaths in public with no respects to the families. We are able to display content of all sorts before it is tried to completely be taken off and before it gets taken off it goes viral. We give permission for us to be located using our cell phones. These cell phones are designed to be distractions. Things that will keep our minds occupied while other things are going on in the world. We are enticed by the latest news, the newest video games, the latest technology and not aware of all the other things that affect us in this country.

We voluntarily post our information on the internet and put all of our business on the internet. Look at Chief Keef which is a perfect example. Here is a young man who is in the beginning of his music career hot single and all is now being detained in a detention center because he was firing guns and posted it on the internet. We have to wake up people!!! LIVE YOUR LIFE!!! Watch out who you trust! Be careful of the people you keep around you. Be careful of the things that you say and be responsible for your own knowledge and actions. We all need to turn off the tv and go back to helping people and doing things that will create some sort of legacy instead of feeding into all the scandal that is built around the all seeing eye. We have to stop fighting each other and publicizing and making everything public because this is what the government wants us to do. The government wants us to kill each other and burn each other out with hate. The government wants us to be poor minded so we don't become intelligent enough to expose their wicked ways. Yet we vote these politicians in office without knowing much about them continuing to watch their story and waiting for some sort of scandal to unveil.

Be wise. Know that you don't have to give all details of your life to everybody and everything. Practice becoming a part of the free world and the part of free thinkers because right now? Society as whole is brainwashed. We are washed out by the convenience of technology. Nothing is natural anymore. Nothing is organic there is a process for everything. No one does anything off of feeling anymore because everything is processed. Our news is processed the way its fed to us is processed what we eat is processed how we are supposed to eat is a processed thought how we work out how we are supposed to speak whats cool to wear whats good not to wear everything is a process and people have fallen so victim to status that we will never realize our individuality because we are influenced by worlds of things.

The all seeing eye is no joke. It is not something you can control or change. I wrote this blog because its time for us as individuals to become more aware of the things that we can not control, but learn how to live with this plague and live around the fakeness and the wool over our eyes to have a better life. Our world will continue to change and things will become worse before it gets better because now we have a new generation of children who will grow into this life and have no awareness that this is even a problem. Then what? I pray for us all and I pray for mental, emotional and physical awareness as there will be things in my own life that I must continue to change.

TL Cross - Audience (Official Video)

Check out the latest video from awesome talent TL Cross. Dope video dope concept. I believe this will be an international hit. I know the world will feel the same.

Darq - Back To Risk It All (Official Chuck Platinum Album Review)

I have a special invested interest in MC's (not rappers), but emcees from The BX. One of the most important reasons of course is because I myself am a Bronx native, but another because although The BX is where it all started unfortunately for many years we have been overshadowed in the industry because of politics and label hierarchy or whatever you want to put your favorite lame excuse here ( ) either way there are plenty of rappers that deserve to be heard which leads me to this current album review for the BX's own super talented artist Darq.

So let's take it back a couple of years ago. I first officially got to know Darq through mutual acquaintances and I didn't really get to hear his music. Anyone that knows me knows that for me to really check something out it has to be co signed by another talented artist because usually most artists run together. I had begun to see Darq at several shows and showcases and what really got me locked in was his performances. He was a very passionate artist and I really enjoyed his stage presence so I decided to check out his first project Risking It All Willingly which was a very very solid project and immediately I became a fan and made it my duty to build a relationship with this talented brother.

Fast forward it is now 2013 and Darq is now a multiple award winner and has been co-signed by many top industry heads in the underground market and what better way to capitalize off that momentum by releasing another stellar project which is titled Back To Risk It All. Overall the production on the album is great. The production is a big stand out from the production from the previous project. You can tell that Darq took his time and looked for the perfect back drops to satisfy his listeners with the emotion that was put forth into this project. What also stands out on this album is the near perfect sequencing. Sequencing is something that a lot of people in the game do not master, but song placement on an album is the most important part of making a record besides the mastering.

The album opens up with the track "Save Me" and the first voice you hear on the track is songstress signed to RAW Entertaiment Amy Davis who is also on the stellar title track of the last album R.A.W. It continues with Darq explains why he is back to risk it all. This track also has a strong feature by the homie G. Fisher (Murder G. Wrote) who delivered a dope 16 on this well produced track. If you know Darq you know that he is not an advocate for pop music, but the next track "Doin'It" feat. Naza & D Dave could be an easy single if he wanted to go in that direction. Of course favorites like "Get A Win" featuring Mr. Gat was HUGE as a promotional single and a dynamic collaboration with REAL on "Never Enough" was a brilliant move to release these two songs while still promoting his first project which kept the ears fresh with new Darq music as we patiently awaited this new release.

My favorite track hands down on this project is "Cross Them Off The List" this track is fire! Knowlege created a backdrop I could actually see Hov as a guest on this song and he is spitting one of the realest raps I have heard in a while. I am sure that this was inspired by some inside things going on that happens between friends that turn foe. What also makes this track so fire is the chess references. How can you lose when you have a whole 16 dedicated telling people how you are going to checkmate them from beginning to end in a metaphoric way that parallels a chess game with life. With lyrics like Life like a chessboard make the wise move /Don't let it be a dumb choice causing you to lose/ The queen protect king so king can claim rule /And scream out murda everytime he check you FIRE and the rest of the verse just flows like that all the way through! True lyricism!

Other favorite tracks on the album are Running Out Of Time, Welcome Aboard, and the dope track Hello which was produced by Music Mystro. I also was feeling the track Crazy Place which was also produced by Knowlege who produced 6 songs on this project which features Rsonist of the Heatmakerz & Sinsay.

As far as the rating is concerned I give this project a 4. The lyrics are there with great production and great features. I still think that as an artist Darq is still in his comfort zone and that he needs to reach in a little deeper so that he can break out into the national market. He has to find a balance between the mainstream and the underground because by the sounds of this project it sounds like production wise he was experimenting with more mainstream sounds which is a great balance, but I think the fans would love to hear Darq lighten up a little bit and put some more personal emotion in his project, but I guess with the room he has to grow we can expect that emotion to be put forth on his debut album.

Back To Risk It All will be available on iTunes in the 1st qtr 2013. You can look forward to Darq performing in several regions next year! In the meantime you can check out his first project R.A.W. available now!

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Flow Water (Instrumental) Produced By Chuck Platinum

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